Monty Brewster: Why is it when there’s trouble we’re the ones that get into it. I mean, there’s a bar full of people and we’re the only ones in jail.
Spike Nolan: I don’t think it’s racial you know, because I’m in here with you.
Monty Brewster: That’s comforting.
Momma: Owen! Food!
Owen: In a minute, Momma.
Momma: Don’t you “In a minute, Momma” me! Get off your fat little ass or I’ll break it for you! I want two soft boiled eggs, white toast, and some of that grape jelly god damn it! And don’t burn the toast!
Owen: Kill her, Larry.
Joan Crawford: Why can’t you give me the respect that I’m entitled to? Why can’t you treat me like I would be treated by any stranger on the street?
Christina: Because I am NOT one of your FANS.
Scott Howard: You still want to dance with a wolf?
George McFly: Hey, you! Get your damn hands off her!
Happy 53rd birthday to Crispin Glover!!!
Wadsworth: Professor Plum, you were once a professor of psychiatry specializing in helping paranoid and homicidal lunatics suffering from delusions of grandeur.
Professor Plum: Yes, but now I work for the United Nations.
Wadsworth: So your work has not changed.
Happy 71st Birthday to Tim Curry!!!
[Wayne shows Diane the shrunken couch]
Diane Szalinski: [excited] Are you saying… it works? The machine works?
Diane Szalinski: Do the kids know?
Wayne Szalinski: Well, yeah, the kids know.
Diane Szalinski: That’s great!
Wayne Szalinski: No, it’s not that great.
Diane Szalinski: Why?
Wayne Szalinski: I shrunk the kids.
Diane Szalinski: …What?
Wayne Szalinski: And the Thompson kids too. They’re about this big, they’re in the backyard.
Diane Szalinski: *What*?
Wayne Szalinski: I threw them out with the trash.
[just as Diane grabs hold of Wayne, the doorbell rings. Wayne opens the door to two police officers]
Wayne Szalinski: Yes?
Female Cop: Did uh, you report two missing children?
Wayne Szalinski: Oh, there must be some mistake. Our children are in the backyard. Right, honey?
Happy 64th birthday to Rick Moranis!!!
Connor MacLeod: I don’t like boats, I don’t like water. I’m a man, not a fish.
Ramirez: So you complain endlessly.
Connor MacLeod: You look like a woman you stupid haggis.
Ramirez: Haggis? What is haggis?
Connor MacLeod: Sheep’s stomach stuffed with meat and barley
Ramirez: And what do you do with it?
Connor MacLeod: You eat it!
Ramirez: How revolting!
Connor MacLeod: Be still for God’s sake! You’ll tip us over.
Connor MacLeod: I cannot swim you Spanish peacock.
Ramirez: I’m not Spanish, I’m Egyptian.
Connor MacLeod: You said you were from Spain! You’re a liar!
Ramirez: You have the manners of a goat and you smell like a dung-heap. And you’ve no knowledge whatsoever of your potential. Now, get out!
[Throws MacLeod into the lake]
Han Solo: [as Lando is being dragged down by Sarlaac] Chewie, give me the gun! Don’t move, Lando!
Lando Calrissian: No, wait! I thought you were blind!
Han Solo: It’s alright, I can see a lot better! Don’t move!
Lando Calrissian: Up a little higher! Just a little higher!
Happy 80th birthday to Billy Dee Williams!!!
Roy Hobbs: I coulda been better. I coulda broke every record in the book.
Iris Gaines: And then?
Roy Hobbs: And then? And then when I walked down the street people would’ve looked and they would’ve said there goes Roy Hobbs, the best there ever was in this game.